It is OK to want to be right. It is OK to like to be right. It is a problem to need to be right.
Cynthia was upset. She was disappointed in her friend, Rhonda, because last night for the umpteenth time, Rhonda had kept her waiting for over an hour before finally showing up. Cynthia called her friend, Brenda, to talk about her frustration and hurt. She told Brenda that she has talked to Rhonda about her always being late but it has made no difference. Each time Rhonda would accuse Cynthia of over-reacting and making a big deal over nothing. Rhonda believed she was doing nothing wrong. Cynthia felt disrespected. Brenda suggested that she stop trying to explain and reason with Rhonda and change what she is doing. But Cynthia said she believed that talking things through was the right thing to do so she saw no reason to change since she was doing nothing wrong. Brenda agreed that talking things through was the right thing to do, however, that was clearly not working for Cynthia. Brenda asked Cynthia if she had a need to be right? Cynthia said, “No, but I have a need to be respected”. Brenda suggested that instead of talking to Rhonda, Cynthia develop a strategy for the next time they meet. Together, Brenda and Cynthia developed a strategy with Cynthia standing up for herself while maintaining and enhancing the relationship. Example of strategy:http://decisionquiz.com/blog/2013/01/28/strategies-on-positively-influencing-others-tardiness-by-changing-your-own-behaviour/
How do you know if you do not have a need to be right?
Think of rules as guidelines that are flexible and not carved in stone.
With care and concern,
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